LOVE. Such a serious topic. Why do we feel this? how do we know when we are feeling it if we have never experienced it? What is love?
For the past four weeks in Koh Tao, I have spent most of my time pining over a boy. This was the closest I have felt to love so far. I know it wasn’t love but I have never truly enjoyed spending every waking moment with a person like I did with him. He had a long burnt but golden looking mullet that flopped over the top of his eyebrows. A prominent red moustache you could spot from a mile away, and a mischievous grin making the world a little bit happier every time he smiled. He had this energy that made your serotonin boost through the roof and where your cheeks would start aching from smiling too much. He was never sad. He always appreciated what was around him in that moment and didn’t worry about the future. He just lived.
The pureness of our friendship was unmatched for me. Being able to sit in silence and enjoy each other’s company in peace is as pure as it comes for me. He will never understand how much I appreciated the time I spent with him. He just always knew how to make me content and happy with life.
But why have I allowed my heart to sway that way and lose focus on what is important to me? Because I have learnt when travelling all you do is crave comfortability. This can allow you to lose your purpose on why you are travelling. I lost my purpose quite quickly when I came to the island of Koh Tao. This was due to drinking, partying and the desperation to fit in and be liked. All I was doing was constantly borrowing happiness from tomorrow. now Im trying to escape it. And I've done it. Flight booked, ferry booked. I’m going to Vietnam. I’m seeking discomfort. Otherwise I will never grow and develop into the person I want to or believe in. So here we go next chapter unlocked. I’m ready to discover the world and live my life to the fullest and maintain my happiness.
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